Gaston

Gaston is a villain song sung by Gaston, LeFou, the villagers, and the bimbettes in the movie Beauty & the Beast. The song was sung to cheer Gaston up after being rejected by Belle. This created the catchphrase, "No one (verb)s like Gaston." which was said in Disney's House of Mouse and also set up Internet memes.

A reprise was sung when Gaston plotted to have Belle's father, Maurice, committed to a mental asylum unless Belle agreed to marry him.

Lyrics

 * LeFou: Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
 * Looking so down in the dumps
 * Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston
 * Even when taking your lumps
 * There's no man in town as admired as you
 * You're everyone's favorite guy
 * Everyone's awed and inspired by you
 * And it's not very hard to see why!
 * No one's slick as Gaston
 * No one's quick as Gaston
 * No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's
 * For there's no man in town half as manly!
 * Perfect, a pure paragon!
 * You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
 * And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on!
 * LeFou and Chorus: No one's been like Gaston
 * A king pin like Gaston
 * LeFou: No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
 * Gaston: As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!
 * LeFou and Chorus: My what a guy, that Gaston!
 * Give five "hurrahs!" Give twelve "hip-hips!"
 * LeFou: Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips!
 * Chorus: No one fights like Gaston
 * Douses lights like Gaston
 * In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston!
 * Bimbettes: For there's no one as burly and brawny
 * Gaston: As you see, I've got biceps to spare
 * LeFou: Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny.
 * Gaston: That's right!
 * And every last inch of me's covered with hair!
 * Chorus: No one hits like Gaston
 * Matches wits like Gaston
 * LeFou: In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston
 * Gaston: I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptoooie!
 * Chorus: Ten points for Gaston!
 * Gaston: When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
 * Ev'ry morning to help me get large
 * And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs
 * So I'm roughly the size of a barge!
 * Chorus: No one shoots like Gaston
 * Makes those beauts like Gaston
 * LeFou: Then goes tromping around
 * Wearing boots like Gaston!
 * Gaston: I use antlers in all of my decorating!
 * Chorus: My what a guy!
 * GASTON!
 * Makes those beauts like Gaston
 * LeFou: Then goes tromping around
 * Wearing boots like Gaston!
 * Gaston: I use antlers in all of my decorating!
 * Chorus: My what a guy!
 * GASTON!
 * GASTON!

Reprise

 * Gaston and LeFou: No one plots like Gaston
 * Gaston: Takes cheap shots like Gaston
 * LeFou: Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston!
 * Chorus: So his marriage we soon will be celebrating!
 * My what a guy!
 * GASTON!