According to Plan

According to Plan is the hero song of William and Nell Van Dort and the villain song of Finis and Maudeline Everglot.

Lyrics
It's a beautiful day It's a rather nice day A day for a glorious wedding A rehearsal my dear, to be perfectly clear A rehearsal for a glorious wedding Assuming nothing happens that we don't really know That nothing unexpected interferes with the show

And that's why every thing Every last little thing Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go

According to plan Our son will be married According to plan Our family carried Elevated to the heights of society

To the costume balls In the hallowed halls Rubbing elbows with the finest Having crumpets with Her Highness We'll be there, we'll be seen Having tea with the queen We'll forget everything That we've ever, ever been

(dialogue)

It's a terrible day Now don't be that way It's a terrible day for a wedding It's a sad, sad state of affairs we're in That has led to this ominous wedding How could our family have come to this? To marry off our daughter to the nouveau riche They're so common So coarse Oh it couldn't be worse Couldn't be worse? I'm afraid I disagree They could be land-rich, bankrupt aristocracy Without a penny to their name Just like you, and me Oh dear

And that's why everything Every last little thing Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go

According to plan Our daughter will wed According to plan Our family led From the depths of deepest poverty To the noble realm Of our ancestry And who'd have guessed in a million years That our daughter with a face Of an otter in disgrace Would provide our ticket to a rightful place

(dialogue)

Marriage is a partnership A little tit for tat You'd think a lifetime watching us Might have taught her that Might have taught her that

Everything must be perfect Everything must be perfect Everything must be perfect perfect That's why everything Every last little thing Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go

According to plan