The Arsenic Cake



The Arsenic Cake is villain song from the cartoon movie "Asterix and Cleopatra" sung by Artifis and his henchman while preparing a poisoned cake for Cleopatra in order to frame the Gauls and prevent them from helping rival Edifis.

Lyrics
Artifis: "Pestilential Pastries". Ah, poisonous pancakes ! Krukhut: Yes. Artifis: Murderous macaroons. Krukhut: Not bad. Artifis: Viper’s venom topped with cream. Krukhut: Hurrah ! Artifis: Cyanide custard pie. Krukhut: Great ! Artifis: Ah ! Special iced arsenic cake. Krukhut: Oh yes ah ah !

Artifis: Take a big bowl of strychnine. Cream with hemlock till its green. Take a glass of paraffin. Warm it up and tip it in. (No I’ll put in two for luck.)

Add a spot of opium Marinate a leach in scum. Sprinkle with some chopped frog’s spawn.

Krukhut: Now we add a peppercorn. (Artifis: Nooo!) (Krukhut: Ah? Oh well.)

Artifis: Crumble up your arsenic in a glass of narcotic. Add two spoons of castor oil. Put them on the stove to boil. (No I’ll put in three for luck)

Put some snake’s blood in a bowl. Then stir in a crushed tadpole. Add a thimble full of glue.

Krukhut: Add a spot of sugar, too. (Artifis: Nooo !) (Krukhut: No? Oh well)

Artifis: Add rat poison to the brew. Cobra’s venom goes in too. Sweeten it with orange juice. Three segments is what you use. (No I think just one will do)

Thicken all with mandrake root. Decorate with moldy fruit. Just before the funeral.

Krukhut: Add a spot of vitriol. (Artifis: Nooo! Oh yes !) (Krukhut: Haha. I know it’ll be a good idea !)

Both: Special iced arsenic cake means that we can safely take seats beside the river Nile to see the sacred crocodile EAT! THE! GAULS! (Artifis: Ba be doo de do wa wa!) (Krukhut: Yeah !)