Just Can't Be a Dragon Here

"Just Can't Be a Dragon Here" is a song sung by Sludge from the episode "Father Knows Beast" from the animated series My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

Lyrics
[Spike, I'm gonna teach you a thing or two about being a dragon. So, listen up, my boy, because I'm only gonna say this once.]

Look at this castle where you live [It's pretty sweet, right?] You can't be a dragon here [Uh, I can't?]

Look at these books up on the wall [Hey, I just finished organizing those!] This treasure pile's not right, I fear

[Trust me, I got you covered here. You see all this soft pony stuff you're surrounded with? This has got to be the first thing to go.]

Nothin' 'bout this place says "dragon den", there's too much fluff All these fancy robes, toss in a pile

Take those goblets, dishes, is that gold? Still not enough! De-ponifying might just take a while

Sure, this place is grandiose But to a dragon, it's just gross Time we make the lot all disappear

Reality you need a dose To all these ponies, you're too close You just can't be a dragon here

[Good job, my boy! But this is still just the beginning!]

Each and every dragon has a swagger all his own Watch and I'll show you what I mean

You can't move like this with so much stuff to weigh you down A dragon always keeps it lean

[Lose this! This! Ooh, this is nice!]

Your life is soft, your scales are coiffed These pillows, beds, and sheets are washed A delight, but it's just not right what's underneath

Every dragon must be free Look at you, then look at me Since when do dragons brush their teeth? [Ha! Please!]

Sure, this place is grandiose But to a dragon, it's just gross Time we make the lot all disappear

[What do I do?]

Just grab it all and give to me After that, then you'll be free You just can't be a dragon here!

[Ha! You're right! I feel better already!] [See? What did I tell you? You're very lucky that I found you. Now, go get me some more.] [You got it! I'm gonna go get you all the cushy pony stuff I've got... Dad.] [Great! Go get 'em... son!]

'Cause this dragon just can't wait to live here