  If you are 18 years or older or are comfortable with graphic material, you are free to view this page. Otherwise, you should close this page and view another page. |
The American-Canadian War is a destructive international conflict involved the 2 North American countries United States and Canada only motivated by a moral panic involving the anti-Canadian protest organization Mothers Against Canada ("M.A.C." for short), but it also took on a more sinister element when the army of Hell including both Satan and Saddam Hussein involved itself due to an apocalyptic prophecy. According to the 2001 TV documentary "Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow", 8 million people lost their lives in that very war which will be forever referred to as the "American-Canadian War of 1999". This fictional/hypothetical war between Americans declaring war on Canadians and fighting against one other, with whatever reason such as explicitly to boost a president's sagging poll numbers. possesses it`s symbolic theme also first etched in various very political satirical films and videogames in years prior and beyond.
The famed naughty Canadian comedian duo Terrance and Phillip starred in a vulgar Rated-R movie named Asses of Fire. The Boys and Ike wished to see this movie, and pay a homeless man to buy tickets for them due to their minority (or simply in their case, they are minors). After seeing the movie, they start using swear words during class. Inevitably their parents found out about this vulgarity, and forbid their children from viewing the movie again. However, the children witness the film one more time, and Kenny decides to recreate a stunt from it. It involves lighting a fart on fire, but, as it is Kenny, the stunt goes wrong and he is incinerated. Kenny is taken to the hospital, where Dr. Doctor replaces his heart with a baked potato, causing him to die. Kenny's death prompts the parents, led by Sheila Broflovski, to form Mothers Against Canada (M.A.C.)]]. They blame Terrance and Philip (and Canada) for their children's misdeeds instead of themselves, and have the two comics arrested in preparation for execution. The Canadian ambassador in the U.S.A. demands their release, but it was unsuccessful, so Canada declares war on the USA.
The war begins when the Canadian Air Force bombs the residence of the Baldwin brothers. The United States then declares war on Canada, and Mrs. Broflovski, recently appointed Secretary of Offense, orders the execution of "war criminals," Terrance and Phillip. This angers the children, which prompts Cartman to sing a song entitled "Kyle's Mom's a Bitch". When Mrs. Broflovski overhears him, she has a V-Chip placed in his brain in order to prevent him from swearing.
Meanwhile, in Hell, Satan and Saddam Hussein discover that there is a war going on Earth. Satan says with delight that it has been prophesied that he can return to earth once the blood of "the innocent" touches the ground. With Terrance and Phillip set to be executed, Stan, Kyle, and Cartman decide to do "what Brian Boitano would do" and form "La Resistance." A new boy in South Park, Gregory of Yardale, comes up with a daring plan to rescue Terrance and Phillip. Stan, who is concerned that his girlfriend, Wendy, is interested in Gregory, insists upon carrying out the plan so that Wendy will like him, but keeps in mind Chef's advice that to win her love he needs to find the Clitoris. Stan, Kyle, and Cartman are sent to find "The Mole", who turns out to be a God-hating French boy. He agrees to help them rescue Terrance and Phillip, who are to be executed in the electric chair during a United Services Organizations ("USO" or "U.S.O.") show.
The USO show begins, and the boys begin executing the plan. Cartman, tasked with turning off the power shortly before the execution begins, is frightened when the ghost of Kenny warns him that Saddam and Satan are coming. He runs off without turning off the power, causing the Mole to be spotted and killed by guard dogs. Kyle and Stan desperately run to the stage to prevent the execution, but Kyle cannot bring himself to stand up to his mom, who orders the execution to start. Suddenly, a surprise Canadian attack begins. Cartman rushes to turn off the electric chairs and receives a mild jolt that causes the V-Chip to malfunction, while Americans and Canadians start battling each other. Stan finds the glowing gross blob-like dome with a female voice calling itself the "Clitoris" which tells him to save Terrance and Phillip. He asks about Wendy, and the clitoris tells him to be confident because "chicks love confidence." Meanwhile, Terrance and Phillip attempt to escape but are blocked by American forces. Just as they are about to be killed Stan, Kyle, and the rest of "La Resistance" stand in front of them. Kyle finally decides to stand up to his mom and says he wants her to stop fighting all these battles and just be his mom. She ignores him and shoots Terrance and Phillip in the head. When their blood touches the ground, Satan and Saddam burst out from hell and begin wreaking havoc. Satan is quickly pushed aside by Saddam, who makes everyone bow down to him while Satan watches. Kenny insists that Satan stand up to Saddam, while Cartman discovers that the jolt to the V-Chip gave him the power to shoot electricity when he swears. He quickly uses this power to attack Saddam. Saddam calls for Satan to help, but Satan had finally enough and kills Saddam. Satan thanks Kenny for his help and grants him one wish. Kenny wishes for everything to go back to the way it was before the war started, even though that means he will go back to hell. Satan grants his wish before returning to Hell with Mr. Hat and everything returns to normal. Everyone sings a song about their happy ending and, in the final scene, Kenny is shown on his way to Heaven.
In Other Media[]
There are different and separate versions of the American-Canadian War featured in other works of media.
American-Canadian War in Films[]
- Canadian Bacon (a film by Michael Moore) - Which declared war on Canada because the president need get popularity on the polls.
- The Canadian Conspiracy - A mockmentary about how Canadian entertainers are conquering TV and movies in the United States.
In Videogames[]
- Fallout series - Also called the "US Annexation of Canada". The Americans and later the Canadians declared war over gas prices and getting access to the American state of Alaska, preventing the Chinese from beginning their occupation of Alaska and this conflict was called the "Sino-American War" which soon lasted 10 years and became one of the many battles in the Fallout universe.
In Music[]
- Canadian Idiot - a parody of Green Day's hit song "American Idiot", by "Weird Al" Yankovic, which explores similar themes, and actually mentions the idea of a "preemptive strike" against Canada.
- A Speculative Fiction - a song by Canadian band Propagandhi that explores a war between Canada and the U.S.