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Beauty and The Beast - Gaston (HQ)

"Gaston" is a villain song sung by Gaston LeGume, LeFou, the villagers, and the bimbettes in the movie Beauty and the Beast. The song was sung to stroke Gaston's ego in order to cheer him up after being rejected by Belle. This created the catchphrase, "No one (verb)s like Gaston." which was said in Disney's House of Mouse and also set up Internet memes.

A reprise was sung when Gaston plotted to have Belle's father Maurice committed to a mental asylum unless Belle agreed to marry him.


LeFou: Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston

Looking so down in the dumps

Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston

Even when taking your lumps

There's no man in town as admired as you

You're everyone's favorite guy

Everyone's awed and inspired by you

And it's not very hard to see why!

No one's slick as Gaston

No one's quick as Gaston

No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's

For there's no man in town half as manly!

Perfect, a pure paragon!

You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley

And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on!

LeFou and Chorus: No one's been like Gaston

A king pin like Gaston

LeFou: No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston

Gaston: As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!

LeFou and Chorus: My what a guy, that Gaston!

Give five "hurrahs!" Give twelve "hip-hips!"

LeFou: Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips!

Chorus: No one fights like Gaston

Douses lights like Gaston

In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston!

Bimbettes: For there's no one as burly and brawny

Gaston: As you see, I've got biceps to spare

LeFou: Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny.

Gaston: That's right!

And every last inch of me's covered with hair!

Chorus: No one hits like Gaston

Matches wits like Gaston

LeFou: In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston

Gaston: I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptoooie!

Chorus: Ten points for Gaston!

Gaston: When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs

Ev'ry morning to help me get large

And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs

So I'm roughly the size of a barge!

Chorus: No one shoots like Gaston

Makes those beauts like Gaston

LeFou: Then goes tromping around

Wearing boots like Gaston!

Gaston: I use antlers in all of my decorating!

Chorus: My what a guy!




Beauty and the Beast - Gaston (Reprise)

Gaston: LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking

LeFou: A dangerous pastime

Gaston: I know,

But that wacky old coot is Belle's father

And his sanity's only so-so

Now the wheels in my head have been turning

Since I looked at that loony old man

See, I promised myself I'd be married to Belle

And right now I'm evolving a plan!

(speaking) If I... *whispering*

LeFou: Yes?

Gaston: Then we... *whispering*

LeFou: No, would she?

Gaston: *whispering* Guess!

LeFou: Now I get it!

Gaston and LeFou: Let's go!

No one plots like Gaston

Gaston: Takes cheap shots like Gaston

LeFou: Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston!

Chorus: So his marriage we soon will be celebrating!

My what a guy!